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The accusation audit
Open a hard conversation by saying the worst things people might be thinking, before they have to.
Borrowed from Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, in his book Never Split the Difference. Read the original source.
One session · Minutes to start · Anyone on the team can start it
Try this first
Open with one sentence. You're probably thinking, and then the hardest objection.
Use it when
Announcing something people are likely to be suspicious of.
Skip it when
Only do this if you will hear the objections you name. Naming them and dismissing them reads as manipulation and does lasting damage.
How to introduce it
Before you introduce a change people will resist, name the harshest reactions yourself, out loud, first. You probably think this is being forced on us, that it threatens our jobs, that leadership has not thought about the downside. Naming the objection before anyone else has to takes the charge out of it.
How to show up
Deliver the difficult reactions plainly and do not defend against them in the same breath. Name an objection and rebut it immediately and you have wasted it. Let it land, then invite the real conversation.
How long it takes
A minute or two at the start of the conversation.
What makes it hard
Saying the worst thing out loud feels risky and the instinct is to soften it. Resist, because the honesty is what works. Understate the real objection and people will not feel understood.
What it looks like when it's working
The room relaxes and people speak instead of sitting in silent resistance. Continued guardedness suggests you named a comfortable objection rather than the real one.
How long until it sticks
It often works the first time, and gets more natural as you learn to name the real objection rather than a safe one.
How you know it stuck
This is a facilitator's skill more than a team habit. It becomes yours when naming the hard thing first is how you open.
The idea behind it
People relax when they feel understood, not when they are argued with. Saying the hard thing first shows you see it, which makes honesty safe.
Where it comes from
Hostage negotiation. Open a hard rollout by voicing the harshest thing people are thinking about it. Pre-empt the objections by naming the worst things the other side might be thinking, before they do.
Why it matters for senior teams
Saying out loud the worst things people might think about you is hardest for senior leaders, and it matters most when they do it, because the rest of the team follows their lead