Proposed for removal
Proposed removals
Labeling
Name the emotion you sense in someone, tentatively, which acknowledges it and takes some heat out.
Borrowed from Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, in his book Never Split the Difference. Read the original source.
One session · Minutes to start · Anyone on the team can start it
Try this first
One sentence. It seems like, and then the emotion. Then stop.
Use it when
A change (an AI rollout) triggers identity threat that shows up as resistance.
Skip it when
Never use it to steer or shut down a feeling you intend to override. People can tell when you are naming an emotion to manage them past it, and it backfires.
How to introduce it
In a tense moment, name what you sense the other person is feeling, tentatively. It seems like this change feels like a demotion. It sounds like there is real worry about jobs here. You are not agreeing or disagreeing, you are showing you see it. Naming a strong emotion tends to calm it.
How to show up
Offer it as a guess, with it seems or it sounds like, so the person can correct you. Then pause and let them respond instead of rushing to fix the feeling.
How long it takes
Seconds, in the moment. It is a small move used often, not a set exercise.
What makes it hard
The instinct is to reassure or argue the feeling away, which leaves people unheard. Name it and let it sit. If your guess is wrong that is fine, because the correction tells you more than a right guess would.
What it looks like when it's working
The person relaxes, agrees, or corrects you toward what they feel. All three mean they feel seen. Growing defensiveness means you may be managing rather than understanding.
How long until it sticks
It feels awkward at first and becomes natural after many real uses. The skill is choosing the accurate feeling to name.
How you know it stuck
It becomes part of how the team talks when people name feelings plainly instead of talking around them.
The idea behind it
The feeling in the room is real and usually reasonable, and it has to be acknowledged before anything logical can land. Argue with a feeling and it grows. Name it and it settles.
Where it comes from
Hostage negotiation. Resistance to an AI rollout is usually about identity, not logic. Arguing with it makes it worse. Naming it lets the conversation move. Say the emotion you sense out loud, tentatively. It seems like this feels unfair. Naming a feeling takes some of the heat out of it.